Angry Before Breakfast
Written by a SAHM who has found life to be a bit difficult sometimes.
This life started out pretty low. If I were to grade my childhood, for the most part, it would get a D. Now, I'm not saying it was all bad but, I'm definitely not saying that it would have ever received an A, not even an A-.
My life was always an uphill journey. It was a pretty rocky hill too. It never went straight up either, there was always something that kept me from reach the top. I never thought that I would ever reach that truly happy place.
I did reach it though and the view was amazing. The top of my hill was glorious, it went on for miles. But then I started to run when I probably should have stopped. What I really needed to do was to grab a chair and relax. Well, I didn't because things were going so well, I just wanted to keep it going, and so I decided to have a baby.
That's when I fell for the first time. No worries though, I was still on my happy hilltop, only now I was waist deep in a hole. I did get out though and it didn't take long. Bt then I went back to running and decided it was time to add to my regained happiness. That's right, another kid. I could see the edge of my hill coming but, honestly, I thought it was an illusion. After the birth I fell again. There was no hole this time, I was falling down my hill. It didn't take long either. I wish it would have been a slower tumble but it wasn't. It was a quick drop straight to the bottom. I hit the bottom, and I hit it hard. After awhile I tried to climb back up, I was determined to get back to the top. I'd stumble ocassionally but about halfway up I found a nice level spot to hang out on. But I got careless and so here I am again, laying flat on my face way down below my happiness. The base of my hill is at my feet, I will never climb to the top of that hill again.
Ocassionally I will lift my head and look towards the future. It's a bit dusty down here, I am still waiting for the dust from my last fall to settle. Sometimes I think I can see a new hill in my future. It's not as high as the last and if I could just pick myself up I really think I will be able to make it to the top. This time I will do things differently, this time I promise to sit down, enjoy the view and smile. This time I think I'll stay awhile.
No one has a perfect life, not everyone can be happy and say they love their life. Sometimes when we're admitting our weaknesses it's not so someone can push us back down 'our hill' but so someone out there can say, "I understand how you feel." Sometimes we just need reassurance that we are not alone. Sometimes all we need is for someone to help us up so we can start that climb to our future happiness.